I was diagnosed with diabetes in August 2000, it came as a complete shock as at the time I had no symptoms. I had applied for a job as a medical secretary on a Special Care Baby Unit and part of the recruitment process was a medical. As part of the medical they did a dipstick urine test, my sugar levels were high and I was told I needed to see my GP for a blood test. I had the blood test and they confirmed I was diabetic. They suggested the rest of my family be tested and this is how my mum found out she is also diabetic.
So I started off "controlling" my diabetes through my diet. Well I didn't change anything I did so that didn't work. I was then put on medication and lost about 3 stone in 2 months as I had quite severe side effects from the tablets. This was the one and only time in my life I have lost a significant amount of weight and I didn't really do anything - basically I had no appetite at the time and anything I did eat shall I just say quickly came out one end or the other. Finally I was started on insulin - five injections every day it was hell. About 3 years ago I started using an insulin pump and I now only have to have a needle once every 2 days when I change the infusion set on my pump.
While I was pregnant with my son my control was excellent - my HbA1C (the blood test which shows what your blood sugar levels have done for the past 3 months) was at the level of a non-diabetic. I was very proud of the fact that my son was born weighing 6lb 13oz when most diabetic women have much larger babies. This just proved that I had looked after myself and my son during my pregnancy.
After my son's birth I unfortunately suffered from postnatal depression. It was an awful time and the last thing I was thinking about was looking after myself and my diabetes.
In February 2011 I had my first follow up appointment with the Diabetic Team since my son's birth. My Consultant is absolutely amazing. When I told him I hadn't tested my blood sugars for 12 months, had been skipping doses of insulin and eating whatever I wanted, he told me that this was not unusual during the first 12 months after having a baby but that I really needed to get my act together and start looking after myself. He wanted to see me again in 3 months time.
So today I attended clinic again my last HbA1C was 9.9 (it should be less than 7). I told him the truth I am now giving myself my dose of insulin with the majority of my meals although I do occasionally forget and I am very rarely testing my blood sugars. I don't need education, I know what I should be doing, I know the terrible consequences I could face later in life if I don't take care of myself. My biggest fear is that I will lose my sight to diabetic retinopathy and will no longer be able to cross stitch, read or knit, these are the things I do to relax and honestly I don't know if life would be worth living if I couldn't do them. That probably sounds very harsh but I am trying to be open and honest.
He suggested that I take half an hour to an hour 2-3 times a week to sit down and think about my diabetes. What I am doing wrong, what I could be doing better, what the consequences may be and what those consequences could mean to me. I thought about writing a journal but then thought if I were to write a blog about this then there may be someone out there who will read it and encourage me or give me a virtual slap and basically just hold me accountable.
I know that I cannot change everything overnight but my aim is to make small changes every week and hopefully by the time my next appointment with the Consultant comes round I will be able to report that I am making good progress. I have found with my cross stitching that setting myself goals motivates me so I am going to try that technique with this as well. So here are my goals.
- Reduce my HbA1C by my next appointment, even if it is only by 0.1 it will be lower and going in the right direction - once I know what the result was from today I will add it here - my next clinic appointment is 28th September
- Test my blood sugars at least once a day
- Measure the carbohydrates I am eating rather than just guessing
- Reduce the amount of sugar I eat
- Reduce the amount of fat I eat
- Lose weight
- Exercise more
My next list is the list of things that could happen should I not get control of my diabetes.
- I could lose my sight
- I could lose limbs due to neuropathy
- I could end up with kidney failure and have to have dialysis
- I could shorten my life
I would also like to add that if there is anything here you don't understand please ask me and I will try and explain. If you have questions about diabetes please ask and I will try and answer. If you have any suggestions as to how I can change please tell me.
Nicola
